On the evening of February 18, 2001, I sat alone in an isolated corner of my apartment, weeping.

Hours earlier, the black #3 Chevrolet of Dale Earnhardt went careening out of control and slammed into the outside wall of turn 4 at Daytona International Speedway. The wreck looked common. Some might even say insignificant, given the wrecks that commonly occur at superspeedways.

I remember the race vividly. It was going to be a “Cinderella Story” ending. Michael Waltrip, the new kid on the block at Dale Earnhardt Incorporated was winning the race. Earnhardt Jr. was challenging Waltrip for the coveted Daytona 500 victory, and Earnhardt was watching it all pan out in front of him as the team’s owner, seemingly blocking anyone else from contention with his 30-ft wide black bumper.

Then it happened.

After the cars mangled together and slid down to the infield, Ken Schrader, a close friend of Earnhardt’s who was also involved in the accident, jumped from his car to check on his friend. He instantly and emphatically began calling for emergency personnel.

Hours later, tears streamed down my cheek as I listened to NASCAR President Mike Helton inform the nation that Earnhardt was dead.

I don’t cry frequently. I don’t know why I did that day. It’s not like I knew the man personally. But his persona was contagious, and the values that he represented were those that I also held dearly.

At the time, it was simply the death of a man that many considered a hero. Earnhardt was a hard working man that had a tenacious attitude when he was on the track, but a heart of gold when he was off. He struggled early in his life, but endured trying times to become a role model for all ages.

What I didn’t realize then was I was also witnessing the beginning of the death of a sport.

NASCAR has floundered in the absence of Dale Earnhardt. Many of the diehard #3 fans turned their attention, perhaps unfairly, to Earnhardt Jr. who at the time was a mere kid. Others turned toward the likes of the always politically correct Jeff Gordon or Jimmy Johnson.

But with the continuing commercialization of NASCAR, drivers started watching what they say on camera, and more dramatically, what they were doing on the track. They worried that if they say or do the wrong thing, their sponsor will become unhappy. Sponsors pay the bills, so that isn’t a good thing.

People like the Busch Brothers and Tony Stewart have stepped up to the plate and claimed the famed “asshole” role in NASCAR, but it just isn’t the same. The one thing you knew about Earnhardt was that as soon as he stepped out of the car, more often than not he spontaneously became the humble and approachable man we know and loved. The same can’t be said for others that have tried to fill that role. Basically, Earnhardt was an asshole behind the wheel, but that was the only time.

As we rapidly approach Speed Weeks at Daytona 8 years later, I find myself, for the first time, completely apathetic about the event.

Aside from the loss of Earnhardt, it seems that NASCAR Administrators have done everything in their power to ruin the sport. They introduced a new “two-season” format that they have continuously modified since it’s inception to try to generate more enthusiasm. They have neutered the competition by cracking down on aggressive driving. Tire problems have been rampant. They have introduced a single template chassis that was supposed to be safer and make racing more competitive. It has made the drivers safe, but the car has a whole new host of issues that the teams have yet to fully figure out and competition has suffered greatly.

And now, perhaps the final bullet in the beast that was once NASCAR. The economy is flailing, and the automakers are asking the government for money to keep their companies from bankrupting. These are the same automakers that pour hundreds of millions of dollars into NASCAR research and development each year. NASCAR and its teams live and breathe off the funding from the big three automakers.

It was bound to happen I suppose. NASCAR has enjoyed decades of increasing popularity and fanaticism during an unrivaled economic growth period in our country. But things are changing for the worse, including NASCAR.

Without the financing, the sport will struggle.

Without better competition, the sport will wither.

Without a role model stepping up soon, the sport will die.